Words bring Life

Words. Just Words. Scribbles upon a page, yet they bring freedom, they bring life. Sweet Life. How can something that so many take for-granted be the one thing that brings me life? When I write, when I have sweet melodies playing in the background, I feel like me. The real me. The me He created me to be. It’s my salvation here on earth. My Christ is brought more to life inside of me when I write. With those words, some may judge. But it is different for each of us–being alive. Truly alive in Christ. Being who He has created us to be. I refuse to live my life in a stupor anymore. Denying the gift He has given me, the things He uses to teach me and grow me. I want to live in His way, not the way of the world. Not the way I am supposed to, but in His freedom, His way.

I pray I lose the words no more.

My Sweet Melody of Words

Words, words, words. To you they may simply be letters tied together on a page. Holding very little significance, only being a must in your rushing of every day life; I have to sign this, read this, jot this down.

But to me they are so much more. They are a melody ever ringing in my ears. A soundtrack to my life. My past, my present, and my future all strung together. Playing  like a symphony. I feel the beat of each word in my heart.  I hear the strum of the truth deep in my soul from the whispering of the words.  With each Key stroke of a word that is played I feel the pain of the past, the joy of the present, the anticipation of the future.

I feel alive when I write. I feel whole. My body relaxes, pain goes away, and the words, they simply flow. They come out like therapy for my broken heart. A healing balm for the wounded soul.

Words may be an insignificant part of your day but they are life to me.

I have spent too many days neglecting the life they bring to me. Too many days trying to do more and be the right person.Too many years running, running from the words which complete me. Even as I sit here now with a hot cup of Irish tea, my thinking music playing and feeling the joy of the Lord enter my heart with each word; even now, I feel I should be reading, I should be in bed, I should be folding laundry. Anything but allowing the words to create a melody.

And why? Why do I deny my passion? Why do I think I need to fit into a cookie cutter mold? Why is writing the first thing I push away? Why do I fear what writing could mean?

How I can I deny the gift of my soul in the form of words upon a page? I fear if I continue to do so, I will be no more. A shell of me, a shell of who I have been created to be.

You see, words may be an insignificant part of your day but they are my own special melody; a melody that only plays as each word I write touches the page.

 

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Will You Let Him?

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“He wants to take us out of what we were and bring us into who we are.”    -Josh Lavere

My child,

More of Me and less of you is what you need. More of my life filling you, freeing you. When you lose your life for me, you will be given so much more. You will be made whole in me.

Just like with the Israelites; I told them, “I will.” I tell you the same thing…I WILL.

I have mighty plans for you, plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future.

All you have to do is trust me and obey the words I give you.

Don’t let fear hinder you. When your chest is pounding because you are out of your comfort zone, remember I am with you. I will never leave you or forsake you.

If you will meet me daily and take up the cross, the yoke I give I will cause all things to work together for you good because you love me and are called according to my purpose.

My sweet child, I have so much more for you. I want to take you out of what you were and bring you into what you are.

Will you let me?

 

John 3:30, Matthew 10:39, Exodus 6, Jeremiah 29:11, Deuteronomy 31:6, Luke 9:23, Matthew 11:29, Romans 8:28

Light Covers Darkness

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I see the shadows upon my heart, shadows of the past, the present; things I want to be changed.

I feel downcast, I want to beat my self up, chastise myself for not being more, for not being better.

Then I look and I see the light, it is slowly covering all the shadows. It is touching the shadows with its warm and healing touch.

Then I feel excitement in all that can be. I feel the joy of the Lord rising up in me.

I hear the notes begin to play. Then the words pour forth, There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain.

Yes! Jesus! Break every Chain!

Give me a new heart, a heart of flesh to serve you, to live for you. Thank you that daily you are renewing me. Thank you for showing me it is a process and you are here with me with each step I take.

Oh how you love me.

Help me Oh God to spread this love you have given to others, get me out of my safe bubble. I want to lay myself down at your cross. To grow in you and fully give my life to you. Lead me to the cross.

To take up the cross you have called me to: If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.

In this is my freedom…it is what I am called to do. When I don’t know the steps to take, when I mess up I just have to come back to the cross and remember what you did for me and turn and pick up my own cross again.

For, if I  try to hang on to my life, I will lose it. But if I give up my life for Your sake, I will save it.

I don’t want to lose myself anymore. I don’t want to waste any more hours, days, or years serving myself and my agenda, For I benefit nothing if I gain the whole world but lose and destroy myself in the process.

 

Thank you Jesus that all my hope is in You, unchanging You. 

 

Luke 9:23-25 NLT http://www.biblegateway.com

Break Every Chain-Jesus Culture

How He Loves Us-The David Crowder Band

Lead me to the Cross-Hillsong United

Anchor-Hillsong

 

 

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King of the World

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“The Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure a man discovered hidden in a field. In his excitement, he hid it again and sold everything he owned to get enough money to buy the field.” -Matthew 13:44

When I woke up this morning I had a song by Natalie Grant ringing in my ears and heart,

“I try to take life back, right out of the hands of the king of the world.”

As I listened to the song, I felt God calling me to read Matthew 13. As I read, I was drawn to Matthew 13:44. I was like, “Okay, Lord, what are you trying to tell me?” Then I read the commentary in the NLT Life Application Bible: ” The Kingdom of Heaven is more valuable than anything else we can have, and a person must be willing to give up everything to obtain it.”

Everything.

As I read, Natalie Grant’s song The King of the World continued to play…

“I try to take life back, right out of the hands of the king of the world.”

These words came to life in me as I listened and took in all He was teaching me….

The music plays and I return to a place I’ve not been in so long.                       It’s almost a ghost to me. Words, Music, and the life He gives me. I write the words He brings to life.   Yet, too often I forget and I try to take it all into my own hands.  “I try to take life back, right out of the hands of the King of the world.”   And for that, Oh Lord, I am sorry.  I forget and I try to take control. And in this I become lost all over again. I can’t see the light clearly. I forget the joy of the pen upon a page. I want you to have it all, all of me. I want to “take your yoke upon me.” As I start this new journey into living the vision you gave, I want to let you be the potter, molding me. Yes, I need to bend and move, but only with your hands guiding me. Help me to keep my life under your direction, my King. Help me Oh God to give up all for you. Everything.  Thank you Oh Father, that in prayer, I can grow daily. Thank you my past is just that, the past and you have carried me through.  I no longer have to look back. I can look ahead…  “no longer do I have to call upon former things, or ponder the past.” For you are doing something new and it is springing forth in me.

I love how God weaves things together, the last 6 lines came from Chapter 5 in Fervent by Priscilla Shirer. He gave me the song as I woke, then the verse as I prayed, and rounded out what he was teaching me in the book, Fervent. My God is amazing and beautiful. I am grateful I am His and he is mine. My king.

King of the World -Natalie Grant, you tube video

Fervent-Priscilla Shirer

Bible verses from NLT Life application and Fervent. Matthew 13:44, Matthew 11:29, Isaiah 64:8, Isaiah 43:16,18-19.

The Renewing of Me

I must now admit…I am a procrastinator, I feel overwhelmed daily with the tasks at hand, and I rarely accomplish much. I believe that is why my writing sits untouched, because it is all too overwhelming and the risk of failure looms ahead. It’s easier to search Facebook or watch TV. I am so grateful for the words from my previous study, Taming The To Do List, …yes I have procrastinated it and still have 2 more chapters to go! However I am grateful for the guidance it has given me, especially today. Glynnis Whitwer states, “Without a specific plan it’s easy for our highest and best goals to never be more than vague ideas.” (pp.176)

These words resonated with me and I followed her advice of creating master to do lists broken down, instead of one big to do list. So I sat and I wrote, It Works Business, Writing, Cleaning House, Budget, Cleaning Garage, Christmas Cards and the lists go on! I felt,a s she did, overwhelmed, almost cried. Then I realized the potential I have just released. The potential to accomplish these things. I will not declare I will do this overnight, or tomorrow or the next day. But rather I declare I have a plan, a plan I can present to the Lord. A plan I can begin to work on with a true goal ahead, with small defined steps.

I ordered the lists by what is most important and I have labeled steps for each goal as, Glynnis suggested in Chapter 13. For example: NYC Trip:

1. Pick dates

2. Make a Budget: Food, gas, extras, hotel, subway pass, train pass from NJ, payment for animals

3. Make hotel/room reservations

4. Plan route

5. Book Hotel

6. Make arrangements for animals: someone to house sit, list of to do daily for animals, list of don’ts, plenty pf food, walk thru, leave key

7. Homeless Care bags: Make flyer, Buy stuff to make some-leave at church for examples, post on FB if needed, host a packing party if bags are not prepacked

That may look more daunting but if I just pick one thing off the list at a time, it is so much easier!

I feel this will help me with my ADHD, my feelings of regret for not getting enough done, and it can propel me into a better one. A life God has intended for me to live. As I do this, I will be able to carve out more free time, more time to let him move, or even time to plan things I feel he is calling me to.

Ahh and how my sweet Jesus runs this book into my current study in Unlgued. As I am on this process, this journey of being more organized, I am also on the journey of not letting my emotions wash over me and take control. I am renewing my mind daily (Romans 12:2). I love the beauty of how He grows us and helps us on this journey, if we will simply listen.

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I end this today with some questions from the Proverbs 31 OBS Blog and I encourage you to come check it out!

Observe — Have you noticed a change in your thought patterns or perspective as a result of your Bible reading and study this week? If so, what prompted the change? yes, I have noticed a change. I feel calmer, I feel like I have control and I do not have to let my emotions control me! I have recited the verse and took a deep breath when feeling upset. And something Lysa said resonated with me and has helped me this week. I believe it was in the first chapter when she said that “Feelings  are indicators, not dictators.” This has shown me there are things me and my husband need to talk about and work through. My emotions are indicators that maybe I do need a little extra help. But by blowing up at my husband I won’t get that help. However, by talking to him calmly with respect, I might get the help I need. I make the choice. My emotions aren’t bad, it is how I react to them.

Bible — If you haven’t already, read Joshua’s story from Chapter 2 (p. 24-28, paperback). Joshua had to learn how to deal with something out of his control, without losing control. It’s a great lesson for us! Read it in your Bible … Joshua 5:13-15 and Joshua 6:1-27. What’s one thing you learn from reading this story? That I need to decide who’s side I am on. I need to trust Him and be completely on His side, even when I feel crazy or life doesn’t make sense. When I do that and stop looking to others or myself for answers or to do it all, only then I will have have the control I need because I  trust Him.

Stretch — How can you take what you’ve read in your Bible and Unglued book off the page and really live it in your life? I already have this week by not responding in anger or frustration with my husband. if he has forgot the trash, instead of yelling at him I may just take it myself and say, “Thanks Lord I have a home with trash to take out. I am blessed.” I have felt so much more joy in all of this. I have been at home sick, which has helped me a little with getting some housework done here and there but overall it has been a choice. It doesn’t mean I am doing it all, it means I am choosing at that moment to do what needs to be done and later talk to my husband about it. And with that he has been less stressed, more attentive and he is even putting his dirty clothes in the hamper, so the trash can come later! It is the small victories my friends!

“My Bright Evening Star”

The vulnerable place for me is  wanting to write and knowing its my calling but feeling guilty about it, being scared of it, worrying, thinking about everything, not knowing where to start.I am still trying to fight my way back. I feel so alive right now…writing, putting words on paper. Knowing when I write, I feel alive, free, joyful…I am me; the me God intends for me to be.  Why oh why do I run from it?

I wrote this tonight as I began the book from Lysa TerKeurst, The 7 Secrets You Need To Know As A New Writer. What truth it holds. Anytime I allow myself to write I always come back to my favorite author, Madeline L’Engle and if you have never read her, Oh you must. So I opened her book, Bright Evening Star and I began to read though it. I came to Chapter 12 and read, “But Jesus did, loved God enough so that he was willing, in his humanness, to got to death that his divinity could have prevented.” Jesus did this and I am afraid to write? What is my calling in comparison to His? I am called to put words on page, speak life into others, he was called to die for us. That puts it into perspective a little. I had to shake my head and say, “Wow, I am so sorry and thank you Lord.”

Now is the hard part….living this out. Writing daily. Its not gonna be easy but it will be worth it. It is the calling He has placed in me. I don’t want to wake up another year older int he same places. I want to follow his plan. I want to write and write and write. I want the love of my savior to flow onto the page as it did with my favorite author. I want to inspire and entertain and grow others, as she did for me. I want to do as I am called and live the life He has for me. No more fear, procrastination, perfectionism to hold me back. To step boldly onto the water and trust my Savior who gave all for me.