The words abound. Pulling free from the depths of me. They are my life, my breath, my soul. They are me, finally set free. I hear the notes float upon the air, my air beats and then it is like the life is given to the words. They begin to float and be. I can then set them free. A life alive in me. A life of words and truths. I feel alive and free, I feel happy and at peace when the words are free to be in me. This is where I need to be everyday. Putting the words down, allowing them life. How do I make the time? How do I free up time? How do I make time to be me, to be free, to have life in me, pouring form me onto a page? I must see, I must be. I must put the words down for the world to see. I must make the time,a s I am now to write and wrote and wrote some more. To get the truths out of me. To share the words. To help someone be freed. To touch a soul with love.
My heart beats contentedly.
As the notes play out and ring true, they resonate deep inside of me.
They bring about the fire that is all that I am and words begin to flow freely.
My heart pounds, tears grace my cheeks.
I am me in this moment, I am all that I am to be.
I dream. I see of vision of a future of me.
It is still not clear but here I sit typing words.
Here I sit one day at a time, evaluating my next step.
I am beginning to let go of the hold I let the world have on me.
I am becoming free.
It is what Christ wants us to be. Yet we take on more.
We get lost in a sea of uncertainty.
We allow the world to pull us out into the murky sea.
But no more for me. I am swimming free. Going to the shore that I am meant to be.
I do not want this American dream. I want me in Christ, free.
I may build a house and live in my small town.
But I will write and write and write.
My heart will be poured out onto a page and lives will be changed.
I will love and carry the broken hearted. I will bear their burdens but in Christ’s way, for his “yoke is light, and easier to carry.”
I replay the sound that made the words begin.
Tears stream down.
In this moment I am alive. I am free. I am me.
My fire is burning bright.
Love encompasses me and all that I am to be.
Written 4-21-12 1:20 am
written to “Rose” off the Titanic Soundtrack