One of the biggest lies of the enemy is that of self sufficiency. Thinking you are strong enough on your own, that you don’t need anyone. I hear it a lot from women, especially after a break up, “I don’t need a man. I can do this all on my own.” While it is true you don’t need a boyfriend or husband to make you whole and compete, it is not true that you need to do it all on your own or even really can. There are constant day to day interactions that involve others.
So why do we torture ourselves by trying to do everything on our own? I am so guilty of this. I was raised by a single Mom who taught me to stand up for myself because I was shy and she didn’t want me picked on. She worked,went to school and was our young Momma. I watched her “do it all.” I was determined to be strong like her. So determined that I didn’t want help. I work myself to the bone. I pick up others slack and I get things done. I’ve been told by several people they sometimes don’t do things because they know I will. It’s an unhealthy cycle. One I battle with daily. And it’s a lie.
Nowhere in God’s Word does it say….walk it alone, you are better off just being one, you don’t need help.
But the scriptures are filed with words like these
For where two or three I am there among them. –Matthew 18:20
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate who will never leave you. -John 14:16
….because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5
So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you. -Deuteronomy 31:6
Those are not words of self sufficiency. We are a body; the body of Christ. We are not meant to walk it alone.
Even if you’re single….don’t go it alone. I was single and I lived alone for several years but I wasn’t alone. I had God, friends, family, church members. I asked for help when I needed it and I made a choice to hang out with family and friends.
Self sufficiency is not God’s landlords, so whether you are married or single remember we are called to relationship, we are called to work together.
This may mean you singles need to stop saying you don’t need a man cause you do, his name is Jesus and He may see fit to lead you into marriage. So stop cursing your possible future.
Married couples, work with your spouse. Communicate, help each other. Men….dont put so much on your wife…help her. Women don’t nag so much. Work together.
Also reach out to a single friend. Do things with her, check in on her. Invite him over for dinner. Include the singles in your life.
And finally keep God first. He’s always with you. He loves you. And He has so much better of a plan than your dream of only self sufficency.
I leave you with this quote: