Words bring Life

Words. Just Words. Scribbles upon a page, yet they bring freedom, they bring life. Sweet Life. How can something that so many take for-granted be the one thing that brings me life? When I write, when I have sweet melodies playing in the background, I feel like me. The real me. The me He created me to be. It’s my salvation here on earth. My Christ is brought more to life inside of me when I write. With those words, some may judge. But it is different for each of us–being alive. Truly alive in Christ. Being who He has created us to be. I refuse to live my life in a stupor anymore. Denying the gift He has given me, the things He uses to teach me and grow me. I want to live in His way, not the way of the world. Not the way I am supposed to, but in His freedom, His way.

I pray I lose the words no more.

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Guardian of Our Souls

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Daily God blows me away with His ways of teaching me. His confirmations in what He is wanting me learn and grow in.

Today I read Chapter 7 in Fervent. It was about Purity, about not giving into our sins and temptations and how God is there with us, not condemning but giving grace to help us change our ways.

I thought of the areas I struggle with….laziness in my exercise. I do have fibromyalgia but I know God can help me overcome my tiredness at the moment to go make my body healthier, yet I give into the temptation of just sitting. I am not talking about the days I know God is calling me to rest but the days he is calling me to exercise. I know I should be in bed earlier but I instead stay up to watch a show or scroll through Facebook. I know I shouldn’t gossip but I partake in the destruction of another. I know I shouldn’t be hateful just because I am tired, my body aches or I am genuinely not feeling well, but I still talk awful sometimes.

This are my sins daily. Daily. These sins keep from Him. But I am so grateful that I am not under the law but under grace ( Romans 6:14).

And with that Grace i had read about in Fervent, God only gave me more in the Proverbs 31 Ministries First 5 app…as I opened it I read, “Whatever enslaves us. Whatever holds us hostage. Our God is still GREATER.” -Wendy Blight

Thank you Jesus for another reminder that these are the sins I am battling with and need to work on but I have your grace.  Thank you for teaching me through Fervent how satan is looking for the weak moments and wants me to give in but through you, the greater one, I can overcome. I do not have to give in. I want to be used as an instrument of your peace and I know that I can be in you, the guardian of my soul.

What sins do you need to work on? Where is satan tempting you? Pray about these areas, ask God to give you grace, wisdom and discernment. he will help you overcome!

On Fire for Christ

John 20:31 (NIV) “But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.”

“Here is the promise: When you believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, you will receive a whole new kind of life!

Are you full of grief, bound by fear or plagued by doubt and insecurity?

You don’t have to stay that way. Believe. Take some time today to personally encounter the risen Lord and watch the transformation begin to occur in your own life!”
– Krista Williams

Prayer: Father, You alone have the power to transform lives. Meet me where I am today and in Your tenderness transform me. Move me from grief, fear, and doubt to a more joyful and abundant life in Your name. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

My Moment: As you personally encounter Jesus today, what transformation do you want Him to begin to make in your life?

Lord, thank you! You are so awesome!  I just want to be closer to you! I want that fire in my heart. I want to be joyful. I want to know fully know what you are speaking to me each day. To lose my insecurities & doubts and live the abundant life you have placed in front of me! No holding back! I Just want to be transformed into a joyful woman of God! I know I’m going that way…I’m just ready for more of you! Please show me how to get there, I love you Jesus!

I must serve the gift of the Words

I keep disappearing from here. I keep disappearing form me. I keep disappearing from these things called words that make up me in so many ways. I am someone not complete without words on a page with a hot cup of tea and deep music playing. I lose who I am. I become angry and broken. I become lost. I now know it is because this is part of who God has created me to be. I know it for a fact, finally. It has only taken me about 16 years to learn that about myself or I should say accept it as okay. Now are the steps to finally make this a major part of my life since it is a part of me. Not denying who I am or becoming lost in who I think I am supposed to be, just simply being me. Putting words onto a page, letting my fingers flow to the beat of the music. Feeling alive and whole and complete as the words dance upon the page. Feeling such a burden lift, feeling as if I can breathe. Feeling like the me God has created me to be.

I do not want to deny this essential part of myself because in essence I am denying Christ and his work in my life. When I deny the gifts He has given me, the things He uses to free me, to use me, then I deny Him. I say my way is better and I turn from Him. I no longer want to do this. I want to write and write and write some more. I want to listen to Him speak to me through the words. I want to see how I will grow and what I will learn. I want to bless others with His word through me.

I want to be alive.  I want to serve my Christ with the gift, the life He has given me. In the words of my favorite author Madeleine l’Engle:

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And serve I will.

The Words-My Salvation

My Salvation.

My Christ.

My Life.

he came. he died, so that I might be. that I might one day live with Him.

That I may fall down, get back up, and try again. that I might have that chance to accept, to have true faith.

My Salvation.

My Christ.

My Life.

I’ll never forget the day, the day I cried. the day i walked down that aisle to my Christ. I felt the call on my life. i felt He understood my pain, my heart, my life.

My tears fell and it was if I ran. i ran into the se of other souls crying out for

Their Salvation.

Their Christ.

Their Life.

I was only eight, but I know that day changed the course of my life. It created a new path; a path I chose to take with

My Salvation.

My Christ.

My Life.

I’ve had so many missteps. I’ve walked off the path on side roads.

I’ve seen Him cry. Felt His heart break for me. Yet he has never left me. he has remained by my side-ever guiding me, calling me back to His side.

My Salvation.

My Christ.

My Life.

And here I stand again on the cusp of something great. wanting to take more than the first step. I’m good at that, it’s the next steps that I forget to take.

So I cry out to you…

My Salvation.

My Christ.

My Life.

Help me. I can’t do this without You. Please Oh Lord, Jesus. Help me write and write and write.

Help me do this diligently, to be obedient, to heed the call on my life.

For too long I’ve ignored the call out of guilt and fear. I can not anymore. i’m lost without these words upon a page. Words that make me feel alive. Words that complete me. Words that help me learn, grow, feel, believe, and see.

Words that draw me closer to you….

My Salvation.

My Christ.

My Life.

I can’t describe the way I feel inside when I write and the music plays. My heart beats increasingly as the band plays and my pen touches the page.

i feel complete, in peace, just alive. Alive in you…

My Salvation.

My Life.

My Christ.

It is my heart, my call. It is you….

My Salvation.

My Life.

My Christ.

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Written 5-5-15 10:30-10:50 pm. Written to Salvation by Gabrielle Aplin form the If I Stay, soundtrack.

video to song, pulled form you tube.

Picture drawn by me.

Will I?

I think upon that girl I was at only 16 years of age. So young, so full of hope, life, dreams. I felt I could conquer the world but I was afraid to try. So much of my life is this cycle of being who I truly am and then becoming who I think I need to be. A cycle of losing who I am. A cycle of losing all that makes me…well me. I for some reason feel guilty being who I am, for loving music, words on a page. For dreaming of simply being a writer. Why do I feel like I should want something else? Why do I feel like this can’t be God’s call on my life because it is selfish?

I have been here so many times…knowing I am called to be a write. Knowing this is what God has for me…I only wonder if this time will be different? Will I write? Will I go and create in my little art room? Will I play the music that moves me…that makes me feel oh so deeply?

That is the question…Will I?

 

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(image taken from Google image search. Quote by Mary Oliver)