Sunshine Amidst the Rain

The last week has been a whirlwind of emotions. I felt as if life was flashing by with all we have had going on. And in  every single moment, God has been present. He has been there with His hand upon us, his arms around us, never letting us go.

We were blessed last week to go and visit my Father for Father’s day and take my stepson Nick. It was such a wonderful trip but all we could think of is how we missed our dear sweet boys, who were still kidnapped and in Mexico. We enjoyed time in Chicago, time chilling with family and made wonderful memories.
imageimage

While there I began to not feel well and on the way back home I was cramping badly. I toughed it through and went to the ER after the long 15 hour drive. In the 3 hrs at the ER I found the devastating news, news I was prepared for because I had an instinct and had been praying to God about it. But still it was heart breaking news,  I was having a miscarriage. We were heart broken and we cried but we knew God has a reason for all things. And we were being blessed in a bigger way because on the way home, we had gotten the call that our boys had been found in Mexico! Yes our boys would be home!

We had a few hours sleep and I had to go back to the doctor. I had an ultrasound already scheduled and I am blessed I was able to see my little “nugget.’ Even more blessed my husband asked them to print the picture off for us. We saw our little nugget’s head, no heart beat but still we saw our baby. In the midst of sorrow, I am thankful I have a Father who loves me and holds me close and blesses me with something like that.
image

The next day, Wednesday of this week, we were able to drive to Atlanta to pick up our boys. So many emotions ran through us. It felt like a dream. We were prepared by the FBI Counselors for all the different reactions. And I didn’t care what reaction I got because I was going to see my sweet boys again! They were timid at first but soon warmed up. They were brought back with their sweet baby sister and we were blessed to spend time with her and her father for a few days before separating. Its only been a few days but it is like they have never left. My home is filled with chaos again; boys running, nerf guns shooting, and lots of giggles. I am blessed.
imageimageimage

image

image

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were times I asked God, “Why?” I wondered why it was taking so long to bring them home. 19 months to be exact. But as with the miscarriage I know everything happens for a reason. We can’t always see why. We don’t always understand, yet we must trust no matter what. We must worship Him and love him no matter what. Because He is for us, not against us. He loves us and has a bigger plan than we can even imagine.

It is seeing the sun amidst the rain. The blessing in the sorrow. My husband and I are not the same people we were 19 months ago. We have grown, we had to lean on God. I personally know it drew me closer to him, it made me rely on him, trust in him. With that comes “a peace that surpasses all understanding.” (Philippians 4:7)

Yet our learning, our growing is not over. Now our boys are home and we must deal with forgiveness again, as we look at scars, ribs from starved bodies, hear of broken bones, neglect, and hear comments like,”Man it feels so  good to eat.” Or hear prayers, “That I will eat good today and have food everyday.” I have to hold back tears several times a day. And in the midst of the heartache we feel for all they endured I pray; I pray their mother comes to truly know the Lord. I hope she does the time for this horrible crime to her children and I hope from that she is able to finally see her mistakes and see she needs the Lord. She may not see the boys again but I pray her heart changes. It is all I can do so the anger and bitterness do not take root in my heart.

Those of you hurting in the world, know He is always there, waiting on you to see Him, to want Him, to call out to Him. Never think you are abandoned in your hurt in pain. It is okay to cry, it is okay to say, ” why?”  Just don’t let it consume you. Instead be consumed by Christ, he will carry you though. There is sunshine even in the rain.
image

imageimage

image

Much love,

Alissa Marie

Advertisements

Filling Yourself With the Word

It’s been so long since I’ve been here. Life has felt hectic and busy. I’ve been getting up and spending time with Him but I’ve been so tired, it’s been hard to keep my eyes open! So today I knew I couldn’t put it off anymore.
I’ve been thinking about how easily I fail Him. How I let anger and frustration take over at times. I don’t trust Him like I should or give things to Him like I should.
This happened last night as I got frustrated with my husband. I let anger take over. Earlier this week I let someone hurting my feelings open the doorway for hateful, smarty texts.
As I was praying this morning as I poured my coffee, and was thinking about the choices I had made and telling Him I want to do better but I don’t know how, then I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “Remember my word. Put it in your heart.”
Scripture memory….. reading those words over and over again until they are deeply embedded in my heart, my mind, my soul. That’s the key, not only reading the words, His word, but letting it sink into my innermost being. I remember a time I did this and it’s amazing the verses that would pop up when I needed them. They allowed me to make better decisions, they calmed me, they gave me peace.
Soon I’ll be starting a study called Master Life, The Disciples Cross with some dear friends. I can’t wait because it focuses on scripture memory and I’ll have friends to hold me accountable. I’m ready to let God have all of me, to reign supreme. I want me out of the way; my selfishness,my brokenness, so He can fully fill me and it can spill over onto those who need Him. I want to understand as He does. I want to give as He does. I want to love like He does.
Until the study starts in a couple of weeks, I’m gonna still start some scripture memory.
I hope you will begin to make scripture memory a part of your walk with Him, as well. I pray as you do that you will know Him in a deeper way, I pray your life will be overflowing with His grace and love.

I leave you with the verse He lead me to today,

image

“Actually I was born and came into the world to testify the truth. All who love the truth recognize that what I say is true.” -John 18:37

Much Love,
Alissa Marie

Broken Vessels

image

Let this sink in a moment….

We are broken vessels, yet he loves us all the same.
He wraps His arms around us time and time again and mends us.
He puts us back together again.
Our Savior, our friend, our mighty King.
He doesn’t leave us to sink, to fall, to become nothing.
No he pulls us from the mighty waves, he catches us as we fall, he mends together our broken pieces.
Day by day, anytime we fall.
All we have to do, is simply turn to him.
All we have to do is call upon His name. He is waiting, willing, his tears fall like a cleansing rain.
Day by day. Moment by moment He is there.
He’s ready to heal, to forgive.
I fail him daily and I want to beat myself up but then I realize I’m a broken vessel being pieced together with His loving hands. And so I repent, I feel His love wash over me. I hear His voice tell me to “try again” and I’m set free from the burden. I smile, lift my head high, and begin again.
So take this in…..
We are broken vessels, yet he loves us all the same.
He wraps His arms around us time and time again and mends us.
He puts us back together again.
Our Savior, our friend, our mighty King.
He doesn’t leave us to sink, to fall, to become nothing.
No he pulls us from the mighty waves, he catches us as we fall, he mends together our broken pieces.

You are a broken vessel, yet Your SAVIOR LOVES YOU all the same.

Guardian of Our Souls

image

Daily God blows me away with His ways of teaching me. His confirmations in what He is wanting me learn and grow in.

Today I read Chapter 7 in Fervent. It was about Purity, about not giving into our sins and temptations and how God is there with us, not condemning but giving grace to help us change our ways.

I thought of the areas I struggle with….laziness in my exercise. I do have fibromyalgia but I know God can help me overcome my tiredness at the moment to go make my body healthier, yet I give into the temptation of just sitting. I am not talking about the days I know God is calling me to rest but the days he is calling me to exercise. I know I should be in bed earlier but I instead stay up to watch a show or scroll through Facebook. I know I shouldn’t gossip but I partake in the destruction of another. I know I shouldn’t be hateful just because I am tired, my body aches or I am genuinely not feeling well, but I still talk awful sometimes.

This are my sins daily. Daily. These sins keep from Him. But I am so grateful that I am not under the law but under grace ( Romans 6:14).

And with that Grace i had read about in Fervent, God only gave me more in the Proverbs 31 Ministries First 5 app…as I opened it I read, “Whatever enslaves us. Whatever holds us hostage. Our God is still GREATER.” -Wendy Blight

Thank you Jesus for another reminder that these are the sins I am battling with and need to work on but I have your grace.  Thank you for teaching me through Fervent how satan is looking for the weak moments and wants me to give in but through you, the greater one, I can overcome. I do not have to give in. I want to be used as an instrument of your peace and I know that I can be in you, the guardian of my soul.

What sins do you need to work on? Where is satan tempting you? Pray about these areas, ask God to give you grace, wisdom and discernment. he will help you overcome!

You Renew my Strength

I read day two in Jesus Calling, as I read my praise music played and it was a culmination of the two that God used to touch my heart, to teach me, to renew my strength in Him. These are the words that tumbled forth upon a page. From my heart to yours….

When I sit at your feet you will renew my strength.

When I search you, you will strengthen me.

All, I give to you my God. My soul longs for you. I am nothing without your grace. Oh I sit at your feet sweet Jesus, teach me your ways. Renew my strength.

When I seek you with all of my heart I will find you.

When I seek your heart I will find wisdom in your ways.

All, I give to you my God. My soul longs for you. I am nothing without your grace. Oh I sit at your feet sweet Jesus, teach me your ways. Renew my strength.

I sit at your feet ready for more than my chores and what the world says. I sit at your feet to hear, to see, to experience your Love oh God. To have my strength renewed in you.

All, I give to you my God. My soul longs for you. I am nothing without your grace. Oh I sit at your feet sweet Jesus, teach me your ways. Renew my strength.

I sit at your feet, renew my strength.

 

image
This is where I sit at His feet and ask Him to renew my strength.

Luke 10:39-42, Psalm 105:4

Living for and Loving Him

image

“In Matthew 5, Jesus openly talks about some of these sticky subjects we also would like to avoid….”

“Let’s face it … it’s much easier to receive a message on love, hope or joy. But these sticky subjects can make us very uncomfortable. Yet, Jesus doesn’t try to skirt around the obvious or avoid talking about the hard stuff. Why? Because, if sin is in our lives, it has to be exposed and dealt with right away. Otherwise Satan will use it against us to create a stronghold and keep us from experiencing God’s presence and true freedom.” -Leah DiPascal

Lord, how I fail you daily. I just sinned by letting my frustration get the best of me and snapping at my husband. So I ask you please forgive me.  I’m grateful I have your word and the Unglued book to grow me closer to you. I am learning so much about my raw emotions and how to honor you with them. Thank you for your grace as I grow! I want to serve you with all of me and bring glory to your name!

My Destiny in Christ

image

What a truth. I believe this but it’s our choice to be prepared during the hardship. I’m trying my best to be prepared during this hardship, this season in my life. I want to know Christ more, to be more compassionate, to love as He loves. I truly belive my extrodinary destiny is not as big or grandiose as the world views great destinies. But it’s great to Him.
So that’s one area I’m praying to grow in, how I view the world compared to how he does. I want to look through His eyes.
So I say, prepare me Lord, help me stay out of the way so you can do your good work in me and through me. Thank you that during the hardship I have you anytime. And thank you for the great destiny you have for me…I can’t wait!