Self-sufficiency is a Lie

One of the biggest lies of the enemy is that of self sufficiency. Thinking you are strong enough on your own, that you don’t need anyone. I hear it a lot from women, especially after a break up, “I don’t need a man. I can do this all on my own.” While it is true you don’t need a boyfriend or husband to make you whole and compete, it is not true that you need to do it all on your own or even really can. There are constant day to day interactions that involve others. 

So why do we torture ourselves by trying to do everything on our own? I am so guilty of this. I was raised by a single Mom who taught me to stand up for myself because I was shy and she didn’t want me picked on. She worked,went to school and was our young Momma. I watched her “do it all.” I was determined to be strong like her. So determined that I didn’t want help. I work myself to the bone. I pick up others slack and I get things done. I’ve been told by several people they sometimes don’t do things because they know I will. It’s an unhealthy cycle. One I battle with daily. And it’s a lie. 

Nowhere in God’s Word does it say….walk it alone, you are better off just being one, you don’t need help. 

But the scriptures are filed with words like these

For where two or three I am there among them. –Matthew 18:20

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate who will never leave you. -John 14:16

….because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you. -Deuteronomy 31:6

Those are not words of self sufficiency. We are a body; the body of Christ. We are not meant to walk it alone. 

Even if you’re single….don’t go it alone. I was single and I lived alone for several years but I wasn’t alone. I had God, friends, family, church members. I asked for help when I needed it and I made a choice to hang out with family and friends. 

Self sufficiency  is not God’s landlords, so whether you are married or single remember we are called to relationship, we are called to work together. 

This may mean you singles need to stop saying you don’t need a man cause you do, his name is Jesus and He may see fit to lead you into marriage. So stop cursing your possible future. 

Married couples, work with your spouse. Communicate, help each other. Men….dont put so much on your wife…help her. Women don’t nag so much. Work together. 

 Also reach out to a single friend. Do things with her, check in on her. Invite him over for dinner. Include the singles in your life. 
And finally keep God first. He’s always with you. He loves you. And He has so much better of a plan than your dream of only self sufficency. 

I leave you with this quote: 

Much love, 

Alissa Marie 


Perfectionism vs Love 

In reading the passage above during my time with Jesus today I was heart struck. Struck by the love my Father has for me. A love I can’t even begin to comprehend. A love that is everlasting. It’s not dependent on my actions, my choices, my works. It’s a love that loves me through it all. I can not comprehend this because my human mind doesn’t have that type of love. The closest I can come to is the love I have for family, my children. But still it’s no where near the love He has for us. 

I’m a doer and I tend to work for my salvation. Voluntering at church. Overworkibg myself. Trying to be the momma who never looses her cool, the best wife.  Trying to have it all together, the perfect pintrest life. But that’s not real. That’s not what a God expects. We are called by His love, His sacrifice, not by our own need for perfection. 

As Christians I feel we try to hard in the wrong ways. We push for the perfect “Godly” family yet miss the broken and dying souls. We argue  and bicker over what version of the Bible to read, or say certain devotionals are not of God. We argue over music, theological beliefs and say you can’t truly be saved if you utter a cuss word. We fight to be a people of perfection, instead of a people full of love. 

We are called to be salt and light….not perfection, judgement, and hammer bearing. Think of salt…it flavors the food we eat, but too much and it’s overbearing and we won’t eat what it’s on. In a cut a lil  stings but it can heal the wound….too much and it burns and leaves a mess. But not using it causes it to become worthless, tasteless.  Light is the same. … helps us see, opens our view and vision but too intense and we are blinded. Hidden under a covering the light does not good as well, if it’s hidden why even use it? (Matthew 5:13-16) It’s balance. It’s truth in love….not too much and not too little. Think of Jesus, He spoke truth coupled with love. He healed on the sabbath, he ate with tax collectors, he drew a line in the sand but was honest with the woman at the well. He is our example of how to be salt and light covered in love. 

Oh my dear sisters and brothers if only we could learn this lesson. If only we could find that balance. If only we could stop trying so hard and forcing that bandage upon others. If only we could love as He has loved. To see we will fall down and to know it’s ok. To be a helping hand to another brother when they fall, instead of another shove down. 

He loves each of us with an unfailing love. A love that calls us to him ….the love that hung on a cross. The love that drew us to our Savior. Let’s venture to be more like Jesus. To love in spite of. To not seek perfection but instead seek to be salt and light sprinked with love. 
Much love, 

Alissa Marie 

That I may have life abundantly….fat or skinny. 

I wrote this last about 1 year ago today. I edited it to fit more of today but I had a burden on my heart to share it. I’m not sure why I never did share it. But I hear God telling me to share it now and so I’m choosing to. I pray it blesses someone out there. 
I’ve been living a lie. I’ve been pulled into the world and it’s ways. I’ve be thinking that if only I was skinner, I’d be hapier.

I don’t pig out. I eat basically healthy. I did stop exercising because I let life get in the way and the fibromyalgia that racks my body with pain, doesn’t help. But I’ve started yoga and water aerobics again and I can feel the difference they both make. I have great blood pressure, low cholesterol. And my husband, he loves my body, all 200lbs of it. Yes, I’ve hit 200lbs.  But guess what? He loves my butt and boobs, haha!

So why do I think, if I was skinnier I’d be happier, I’d be pretty? Why do we praise people for losing weight, saying “you look great,” but not telling them that when they were bigger? Being big doesn’t equal pigging out or being unhealthy. Being bigger doesn’t equal ugly or unattractive. Being big doesn’t mean I don’t take care of myself, even though I’ve had people, people close to me, say that.

A few years ago, I lost weight, in a healthy way but it didn’t fix me or make me hapier after a separation from my then husband. I was drinking a lot after the divorce and I stopped spending time with God. I was angry with God. I was angry with my ex and best friend. I was broken. But on outside I was skinny, so apparently I had it together and took care of myself. No one had anything to say about my body then. Or my health. They only were mad I was drinking. But I didn’t have comments about needing to see a dietician or that I just had let myself go. 

I take better care of myself now. I don’t drink. I love my husband. I’m happy. I spend time with my awesome Savior every morning. Again, skinny doesn’t equal happy and healthy.

I’m grateful for God showing me how my heart hasn’t been in the right place. How I’ve allowed the outward appearance dictate how I feel. For showing me this through articles and stories of others, a plus size, amazing and beautiful yoga instructor. She’s healthy, strong, and so beautiful. She finally realized it and look where she is now.

Last year when I found out I was pregnant I was l ecstatic but what is sad is one of my first thoughts was, “I’m not gonna be a cute pregnant woman, I’m just gonna look huge.” I said this to a couple close friends and they disagreed. It breaks my heart, that in that joy I was letting my weight, steal the joy. Then came comments from well meaning family telling me not to eat in between meals, telling me I’m severely obese, and telling me I need to not over eat and see a dietician. Again, joy stolen.

But today I realize what Satan is doing, he is doing what the word says he does, he is coming to “steal, kill, and destroy,” (John 10:10) my joy in my Savior. He is using those I love to do this and he has seen my weight and body is a weakness to me. I’ve allowed him to do this is the sad part. I’ve allowed him to make me think my worth, my joy, my hope is in myself and my weight. And for that, I repent. I ask my Savior to forgive me and I put my eyes back on Christ. I see the beauty my Savior sees when He looks at me. I see the heart He has given me. I celebrate the beautiful life growing in me and I declare I won’t let Satan steal anymore from me.

I’m clinging to my Savior who, “came that I may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10) That my friends is beauty. That my friends is what I want my children to know. That my friends is what we all should remember and live in.

Whatever your struggle is, whatever you are going through, whether it’s weight, depression, or family issues, don’t forget that you are created unique and special by an amazing and loving God. Don’t forget He came to give you abundant life. Don’t forget that the thief is ever lurking wanting to steal all God has given…don’t let Him. Rise above! Don’t listen to the words of the world…listen to His word. You are a beautiful creation in Christ!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. -2 Corinthians 5:17

You are loved.

Much love,

Alissa Marie

*I’m not saying we shouldn’t care for our bodies. After this article was written I found out my sugar is high. So yes I need to take care of my body, this temple God has given. But no matter the size… God loves us all where we are. It’s about finding our worth in Him where we are…..not needing to lose weight to be happy. I’m not saying I’m not happy for those who do lose weight by whatever means they need….surgery, eating healthy, work out, etc either. Just know I love you where you are and think you are beautiful! 

And if I lose weight please don’t tell me how beautiful I am, unless you can say it now. 😘  

Words bring Life

Words. Just Words. Scribbles upon a page, yet they bring freedom, they bring life. Sweet Life. How can something that so many take for-granted be the one thing that brings me life? When I write, when I have sweet melodies playing in the background, I feel like me. The real me. The me He created me to be. It’s my salvation here on earth. My Christ is brought more to life inside of me when I write. With those words, some may judge. But it is different for each of us–being alive. Truly alive in Christ. Being who He has created us to be. I refuse to live my life in a stupor anymore. Denying the gift He has given me, the things He uses to teach me and grow me. I want to live in His way, not the way of the world. Not the way I am supposed to, but in His freedom, His way.

I pray I lose the words no more.

The Voices That Rob

As I sit every morning and attempt to spend time with my Heavenly Father. Voices fill my mind. Voices of all I have to do and they each sound different. I waste precious time with my Lord listening to them, obeying them. “Did you pay that bill?” So onto my online banking I go. “I wonder if so and so liked my Facebook post,” and onto social media go. Thinking of my chores, worrying about bills,thinking of work, my three sons, friends, and my dreams sitting on a dusty shelf. Then I begin to feel overwhelmed. And before I know it,time is up. Somedays I rush through prayer and jump up to get a chore started. Other days I feel paralyzed; like the weight of all I have to do is too much. Can y’all relate? 

Do you hear those voices too? Those voices who rob us of peace, joy, and sanity? Those voices that we allow to steal our precious time with Him? 

I’m sick of letting these voices win. I’m sick of feeling defeated, broken, and lost as a Christian. It doesn’t have to be this way.God has told us so in His word. 
Thus we have been set free to experience our rightful heritage. You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, “Papa! Father!” Doesn’t that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? (Galatians 4:7 The Message) 
We are set free. You hear that ? FREE. We are not slaves to the world and its ways. We are adopted children of our Father with a heritage to experience. 

I don’t know about you all but that gets my heart pounding a little. For some of you ladies that’s the kind of heart pounding you feel when you see Brad Pitt or better yet, Channing Tatum on TV. 

Okay back to reality ladies, now that I’ve got you feeling that heart pounding sensation. Think of that feeling, that’s how we should be everyday, thinking of the experiences that lie before us each morning, our rightful heritage that awaits. 

But I’d venture to say, more of you are like me. Trying to start the day on fire but feeling more like a wet mop hung out to dry. 

So how do we change this? How do we stop living as slaves and break free to be children of God? 

I think the answer is simple and lies in the word of God and is something we will explore next time. 

For now I encourage each of you to list what consumes your time. What makes you a slave. And don’t fear writing truth, such as being a mother or wife. I’ll let you in on a little secret, I do feel like a slave at times as a mother and wife.  Don’t feel guilty for listing truth. We need this truth to continue the journey.  

The Reason For Your Pain 

“The more she hurt, the more she learned how to help others who were hurt.” (Uninvited pp.84) 

With those words my heart was gripped and tears spilled over. I heard the gentle words of my Father, “The hurt you’ve had has prepared you to love and help the hurting souls. It has allowed you to be prepared to go to those on the street and love them. Where others only judge, you love. Let me fill you with the hope you so desperately need, the grace to give to other wounded souls on the street.” 

Just like Abigail in 1 Samuel, I can make a choice to let grace fill me in difficult times. I can chose to let grace overflow. 

It is a choice! My choice. 

And as I read I realized God has been preparing me for the work He has for me. I knew that at one time. I understood the hurt, pain, and  trials made me who I am. I knew they allowed me to love the unloved. It allowed me to bless, to understand, identify, and help. 

But somewhere along the way, I lost that. I allowed anger, doubt, and insignificance to fill those hurt places, instead of the beautiful grace He’s so lovingly given me. And all this has done is produce more hurt, more anger, more death. 

If I want to be victorious in my walk with Christ I must not play the part of a victim. If I want others to be victorious, I must first be victorious myself. Then I can help them rise above a victim mentality that’s only holding them back. Only then can I help them see how they can be set free and made whole again in the arms of a Father who loves them do dearly. 

Thank you Lord for how you teach us.Thank you for your grace who fills those broken places, the grace that lovingly binds all my wounds. The grace that only multiplies so it can spill out into the lives of others who so desperately need it. 

I love you Lord. I love you. Thank you Jesus. In your holy and most precious name we pray. 
(Lysa Turkeurst, Uninvited Book). 

“I Chose You” 

I’ve been working in a Bible study called The Disciples Cross. I would encourage you all to check it out. It has grown me in God tremendously. This week is about prayer; why we pray, how to pray, God ansering prayers, etc. Our memory verse this week is John 15:17 “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given to you.” 

As I read that verse and have memorized it this week….its such a joy to my heart. We have a God who wants to bless us,who wants to give to us. A God who wants time with us. What a joy! 

 God has used this week so far, in learning about prayer, to tell me to trust Him. From reading about Peter on the waves yeaterday and hearing Him whisper, “Trust me;” to the praise song this am, You make me brave,” and hearing Him once again whisper, “Trust me.” 

Then as I read John 15 for my quiet time just a few moments ago He tells me, “I chose you.” 


Yes little ole me who has a mouth an attitude. Lil ole me who makes so many mistakes. He chose me. That gives me faith to walk out on the water, to pray those bold prayers, and to TRUST Him. 

But you wanna know the most beautiful part…He chose you too. Yes you, sitting there reading this. Whatver mountain you are facing today,remember God said, “I chose you.” ( John 15:16)