I’m excited to announce that I will now be doing guest posts on Wednesday’s….Welcome Wednesday!
A great friend of mine has written us an amazing first post. Please take a moment to welcome her and to let her inspiring words soak in!
A few weeks ago I began a journey through the One Thousands Gift Devotional by Ann Voskamp. I started working through this particular devotional because honestly, I was struggling with finding not only grace and thanks in what was going on in my life but I was also having trouble finding God’s will. My health was starting to fail, my oldest son’s school was on the brink of closing, my daughter had multiple things going on with her health and I’m sure there was more although now it all just seems to be running together. I was in God’s Word everyday, I prayed multiple times a day, I journaled my thoughts and feelings. I needed more though. I was missing something. I wasn’t feeling the peace and contentment I wanted to feel. Why was I not feeling like I was connecting to God like I should? Like I wanted?
I had heard so many speak highly of this devotional and how it has helped them connect on a deeper level with God. It was helping them recognize grace and give thanks for even the simplest things. I realized that I had gotten out of the habit of thanking God. It is so easy to remember to thank Him when things are good but what about when things are not going well?
The first few days I would read little bits here and there that would speak to me. I was starting to open my heart and mind to looking at things in a different way. Then it happened. I got to Day 9 and it all clicked in my mind. I finally saw what He was waiting for me to see. Here is what hit me like a ton of bricks:
What if I woke to now and refused to hurry because I didn’t want to refuse God?
What if I didn’t discount the moment but counted it for what it is-God here?
It is only the present moment alone that holds the possibility of coming into the presence of God. Look around, breathe deep, enter into this one moment.
I suddenly became very aware of how much of my time I was spending rushing through life. Rushing through my children’s childhood, rushing to find answers to my health issues, rushing through this amazing through this amazing life that God has blessed me with. I have a husband who loves me and has been there walking this crazy health journey with me, I have 5 beautiful children, I have a home and food to take care of my family. As I thought about this I started asking myself how many times I gone to Him in praise and thanks? How many times have I slowed down to simply enjoy this life and these moments?
I looked at my oldest son and no longer saw my little boy. My first born son that would crawl into bed with me. The little boy always so eager to show me something new. I look at him and I see a young man who is traveling through his teenage years just trying to figure out his place in life and who he wants to be. A young man that in just a few short years I will be seeing off to college.
I look at myself in a 32 year old body that is wearing down quickly. I am watching my body give into the effects of living with an immune deficiency. It makes me reflect because I can never get those lost moments back. What if God is using my illness to teach me to slow down? What if He is using it to show me how to take each and every moment and just be present? To open my eyes and see the blessings. What if I start looking at my health not as a burden but as a blessing in a way?
I may have rushed through so much in my children’s but that doesn’t mean I have completely missed everything. I can stop and enjoy helping my olders navigate those hard teenage years. I can start savoring and enjoying the firsts of my littles. I can start living in the moment with my husband and enjoy simply being with him. I can embrace my condition and let it bring me closer to God and the things He is trying to teach me. I can stop rushing and just be thankful.
Cassondra is a wife of 13 years to her high school sweetheart James and momma to 5 amazing children. She has a passion for growing closer to God and is enjoying following the journey He is leading her on. Struggling with the effects of living with an immune deficiency, she has had to lean on God like never before and learn how He is using this to teach her about how to let go and trust His path for her. She enjoys living simply, baking/cooking from scratch, reading, journaling and spending time with her family. Cassondra blogs over at https://onewifesjourneyblog.wordpress.com/ and she would love to have you join her as she blogs about this journey God is leading her on!