I have began a new study today, Unglued, By Lysa Terkuerst, with Proverbs 31 online Bible Studies. The first chapter, An Invitation to Imperfect Progress hit home with me. It was comforting to see a Godly writer and woman like Lysa struggling with the same things I do…having a meltdown over towels and yelling at her family and then feeling guilty for it. I had just done this same thing last night with my husband. We were on our way to be when he found the our cat, Egor had peed int he dryer. Yes, I said dryer. You see Egor loves to lay in the warm dryer, so while I am folding clothes I let him. Egor also recently decided he needs to pee and poop all over; on bookbags, in tubs, in sinks, on blamkets. He has decided our entire home is his big litter box. It has been frustrating to say the least and my husband hit his breaking pint last night. He was annoyed and looking for Egor. My momma bear defense started and I told him to find him later and my husband responded with saying “the cat is ruining our house.” I felt that was a bit dramatic and I chose to respond, even though I heard that still silent voice whispering for me not to. I responded as I always do when I give into the frustrated feelings by hashing out more than the one issue and saying hurtful things. “Well be dramatic like a woman, I swear men are the dramatic ones. You won’t even clean it. I do all the cleaning. I bet he is peeing up here because you haven’t’ cleaned the litter box! I do everything around here, what do you do?!”
Well needless to say I went on and on for a while. I finally shut up but was too mad to sleep, so I emptied the litter box, cleaned the dryer, washed some bags Egor had peed on earlier int he day, had a shower, laid out my outfits, socks, jewelry-scarves included and had a shower. By the time I laid down it was 12:30 and I want to be up by 5 am. And what was my husband doing during all of this..he was sleeping peacefully! Ha!
So of course I felt guilty for losing my cool with my husband yet again, for coming “unglued” over something so simple. And I do what Lysa said she does…I beat myself up. I was thinking, “How can I be doing this and be a Christian? How can it change? I am so ready for the study to start tomorrow!” Never did I think I would find compassion in the words and understanding. I was ready for a full force” let’s deal with your issues” approach for some reason. Now I see I am human and I have things to work on but I can and will get there.
“There will be tender mercies for the raw emotions. No need to bend under the weight of past mistakes. That kind of bending breaks us. And there has already been enough brokenness here. No, we won’t bend from the weight of our past, but we will bow to the One who holds out hope for a better future. It is a truth filled future in which God reveals how emotions can work for us instead of against us.”
Those words so beautiful spoken and layered with truth. A truth I have needed to hear and I can not wait for the “imperfect progress,” I can and will make!
If you would like to join me on this journey, please click the link below, for more information!
Weekly Memory Verse: Romans 12:2(a) NIV
( Bible verse; google image search: https://ablogfromtheheart.wordpress.com/2015/02/01/special-sundays-romans-122/)
(Unglued book-google image search)