Will I?

I think upon that girl I was at only 16 years of age. So young, so full of hope, life, dreams. I felt I could conquer the world but I was afraid to try. So much of my life is this cycle of being who I truly am and then becoming who I think I need to be. A cycle of losing who I am. A cycle of losing all that makes me…well me. I for some reason feel guilty being who I am, for loving music, words on a page. For dreaming of simply being a writer. Why do I feel like I should want something else? Why do I feel like this can’t be God’s call on my life because it is selfish?

I have been here so many times…knowing I am called to be a write. Knowing this is what God has for me…I only wonder if this time will be different? Will I write? Will I go and create in my little art room? Will I play the music that moves me…that makes me feel oh so deeply?

That is the question…Will I?

 

 one+and+precious+wild+life

(image taken from Google image search. Quote by Mary Oliver)

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