Below is the updated info on my other blog:http://wordstou.wordpress.com/ (feel free to check it out!)
So I started this blog to a man I loved when I was only 16. I couldn’t help but think maybe we were still meant to be together b/c he kept entering my mind. I was able to break down our relationship. I was able to finally figure out why I couldn’t let myself fully love him, or to let him fully love me. It taught me about what I wanted in a man, it taught me about my fears and why I run from something good. By looking at this relationship I was able to see that when someone loves me and wants to be a real man to be and take care of me, I shut down, I run.
So, originally I thought I had this man on my mind b/c we were still meant to be together, what I have learned since is that God was wanting me to learn about myself. He was preparing me for the love he was bringing me. It is so easy for us to twist things God is trying to teach us and make them what we think. Instead we need to be patient and wait on what he is trying to teach us.
I am grateful that He taught me this lesson for over a year. Because now I have a love I wanted to run from but I recognized the signs in myself and have stayed. I really believe this may be it. It is a daily battle to fight off my insecurities and tell myself he is not my ex-husband. it is a daily battle to not shut down b/c he loves me and wants to take care of me. He holds me (AMAZING!), hugs me, kisses me, carries things for me, does the mowing, etc. He is what I have been looking for, for so long. And I am not used to someone doing for me and loving me simply for me, as he does. It is scary but I am not running this time. I am staying. He is worth it.
With all of that the first few letters were to a man I loved and a man that taught me how I deserved to be loved. The next few are to the man I was given. The man I am meant to be with forever.
Marie (as I will call myself on this blog).