Love of a Lifetime

Love of a Lifetime

As I sit here and type a beautiful song plays. One I have been addicted to for a few months now. Never did I think it would become a reality for me. Never did I really think that kind of love could be real and true and come to me. Yet, I have this love finally.

I have someone who loves me for who I am. We were real friends first and he knew all about me and wants me for who I am. I don’t feel like I have to pretend with him to be what he wants. Because who I really am, is who he wants. That is hard for me to grasp or accept because I have never had that. I have never had anyone accept me for who I am and love me.  I find that sad but it makes me realize what I have in this man. It helps me to be more grateful and allows me to love him the same.

And how I do love him. He is so wonderful. More wonderful than I believe he even realizes. He is kind, has a big heart, is helpful, a hard worker, & an amazing father. He is a gift and I am lucky to have him. To hold his hand, to hug him, to kiss him, to simply call him mine, it is such a gift.

I do fear the future and the past repeating itself. I have the “what if” questions. What if he does me like the others? What if this is a game? What if he is just lonely? What if he leaves me and goes back to her? But when he looks into my eyes, so deep, and tells me that he has these fears too, my fear begins to disappear a little more day by day.

I have to not let it take over me, the fear. I have to take a chance with the right one, I do believe. I can’t punish him for my past choices in men. I see him, I know him and I must let myself love him and more than that I must allow him to fully love me.

I believe this is a love of a lifetime and worth the risk of a shattered heart.

 

 

 

 

7-15-12 1 am Written to turning page by sleeping at last

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