Wonderings of the Heart

I sit here at work and all I wanna do is write, so I thought I would take a quick break to do just that.

I have been thinking lately about something I want to do but am not sure if I should. Maybe I am hoping by writing it down, I’ll have a clear picture of a yes or no. Maybe I am hoping someone will read this and comment telling me what to do. Really I am not sure but here it goes.

The guys I recently wrote about, the one I let go in High School. The one I loved but didn’t know how to give that love to at 16; the one I still love. Well, I have the opportunity to write him. I have been given his address. A friend of mine thinks I owe it to him to let him know why I treated him like I did and let him know I am sorry and I still love him.  A part of me feels I should too. I mean, he deserves the truth and deserves my apology and to know he was loved.

However, I want to know if this is God’s will or my heart just wanting it. Also, I found out he is engaged and I don’t want to be disrespectful to his fiance’.

But what if I do not tell him and it is my last chance at love with him? It is a slim chance but what if my words hit a place in his heart and he realizes he still loves me too?

I am just not sure. I feel more compelled to just him a letter. I am trying to also decide if I write a new letter or print the post on here or send him 2 letters I wrote him over the years. Or just send it all. I am not sure what to do but I definitely feel, now that I am writing this, that I need to send something.

I will wait patiently in prayer and seek God to see the next step, what I should write or send.

It may never work out but if I don’t try I will never know. And also, its more important he know he was loved.It is important for him to see what an amazing man he was than for me to get him back…

10:45 am

5-3-12

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