Words burn deep in my mind. Music plays and my mind rolls. I just read an awesome blog by Owl City and I am blown away. It reminded me of my purpose. No doubt in my mind that it was God. I needed to read that. I needed to get my head on right. I have been so confused lately, questioning my next step and realizing where is God in all of this? I simply want him to be my all, to consume my world, my heart, & my soul. I in turn want to share this amazing-ness he gives me with the world. But lately my dreams, my questions and confusions have been all about me…..and I am sorry for that.
So I am throwing out there to God, these dreams. I am going to try my damnedest to just let him have his way. I am gonna try to take it one day at a time. I am asking him to show for I don’t want to make the “wrong” decision. I have done that before cause I couldn’t see what all you could, Lord.
I want a life that is lived for you not just me. I only want the steps you have for me to take. I am so tired. Tired of taking everything into my own hands and suffering and dragging others down with me.
The only things I am certain of: 1. I love you 2. I love my family and friends 3. I want to write and write and write 4. I want to love others 5. I love my home and life here. 6. I love NYU’s program.
So it is handed to you Lord. I only want what you have and ultimately I want to desire you more and more and more every day. I want you to be my everything; my life, my heart, my soul, my breath. I love you lord. I love you.
Let me touch the world with the love & peace that only you can bring.
10-3-11 10:30 am
Written to deep tracks mix on Pandora