Life breaks through in all the burdens I feel I bear. All the choices I need to make, all that I have yet to make. Not knowing what is right or wrong. Wanting to be something I am not and not knowing how to get to that very spot. To see, to be, to dream, to believe, to be. To exist in grace. The grace of all of this life. For I am nothing without grace. His Grace. The one who died for me. The one who hung on a cross. The one who bled and died. The one who sought more than this life. The one who saw all that could be and suffered. He was not weak. He dreamed. He believed. He lived and died for you and me. Water and blood poured from his side and that was it, a final good-bye. He breathed his last and in those words he asked for forgiveness– for us. So beautiful and amazing.
I desire that. To live a life not without Grace. To have love and compassion for others. Yet I feel so selfish right now. I feel alone. I think of the pain. I think of the life I do have here and yet I want to leave. To run away. To move on. To start over to have an adventure. Is that so wrong? what is the way? What is right? What is wrong? How will I ever belong?
Still I wander, searching, seeking and trying to be.
Trying to live a life not without Grace.
12-26-09 9:47 pm