So, I think I am going to start counseling soon with a Christian Counselor. Someone is to call me in a couple of days. I feel weird doing it, like God is not enough. But I have realized He saves us but salvation is not some instant fix….I have been saved since about 8 yrs of age and through that time I have seen so much: Abuse, hitting, crying, affairs, divorce, a new family, cancer in a baby brother, being the oldest, bearing the burden, mistakes, regrets, forgiveness, death, marriage, separation, heartache, pain, confusion, never being enough….and I realize I can’t do this on my own or with anyone around me. I need someone to listen and help me figure it all out. How to let go, to deal with the pain, to be healthy…not just giving into all those around me and how to do this the right way…not selfishly. I spoke with a friend last night and a different one tonight who both greatly encouraged it and I took the steps and e-mailed…..so we will see where this journey takes me. All I know is I love God but don’t know how to live for Him fully, to deal with this hurt and the sadness that plagues me. So, I am taking that step to learn how to deal, let go and be a stronger servant of my God. I am grateful he gives us people like this to help…He loves us so much.
10-27-09 12:33 am