Here, There, Where?

Who am I? What is it that I want out of life? Who is it that I want to be? I am so lost. I am on this roller coaster ride of emotions and dreams and feelings. I want out of this town for sure but where do I want to go? Do I want to just go down the road to a little bigger place and still be close to my family or do I want to travel to New York and become a writer or Cali and become a writer? I am lost. So lost in not knowing where I want to go. I do finally know I want to only write.  Where do I go?  Sometimes I know I need to go to Cali or NYC and other times I feel okay staying close to here. I feel okay just moving an hour away, especailly when I had my little brother and sister over and I think if I move acroos the country or up North, I won’t be able to just have them over. Then other times I think but if I go I will open a doorway for my family that has not really been opened. I will get out and follow my dream and let them see it is oaky.  So, you see, now I am ready; I am ready to go to Cali and become a writer, live on the beach and maybe write movies. Yeah. It sounds great but tomorrow or even in an hour I may feel different.  I go back and forth. But I think deep inside my heart burns for more. It burns for Cali. It has burned for Cali since I was 14 years old. I never knew why….I just knew I had to get there and here I am 25 years old and still stuck here in this littel town.  Yep…now it seems evident I must go to California.  We’ll see what tomorrow says……..

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